But do you want to know the most ironic part of the story?

I am now a public school teacher. That’s right. I became a pawn in the very system that serves, in my humble opinion, very little in terms of preparing students for life after high school.

Before I lose you, let it be known that I strongly believe in the power of education. I just think it’s time for a revamp of the curriculum of American schools.

Let’s start from the beginning…

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I remember the first time I received praise outside of my family for being “smart.” It was the first week of kindergarten and my teacher, Mrs. Whitmore, asked us to use a crayon and write our numbers, starting with zero, as far as we could go. So I took my blue crayon, wondering why it was three times the size of the crayons I had at home, and I scribbled 0 to 100 only stopping there because I ran out of room on both sides of the paper.

My teacher was so thrilled that she sent me on a parade to the other kindergarten teachers to show off my work. I, on the other hand, just wanted a second sheet of paper so I could continue writing numbers.

It was then in middle school that I realized that going to college was a must. My mother and aunts had college degrees and my older sister was working on her undergraduate degree at the time. My teachers spoke often about how expensive college was and that if I worked really hard I could earn scholarships to pay for college.

And so it began…

I worked aimlessly in middle school, earning nothing less than an A in all my classes. I was promised that such discipline would soon pay off because high school was its own beast.

Then I got to high school. Yes, the courses did become more challenging but I soon began to recognize the pattern. Watch. Practice. Test. Watch. Practice. Test. There was so much memorization but little exploration or application as to how the concepts I learned would help me in real life scenarios.

If I were to question the “Why?” of what I was learning, I was quickly reminded that it was so that I would have a better chance of succeeding in college. That was the goal, remember? Attend college for free with the help of scholarships, graduate within the normal four years and the rest of my life would be a walk in the park.

At the beginning of junior year of high school I was beginning to burn out. Most days I felt like I was training for an episode of Jeopardy. But my guidance counselor would constantly remind me just how close I was to securing the spot of valedictorian. The title itself meant absolutely nothing to me. It was the guaranteed full scholarship to a particular HBCU that made me push through my full course load of Honors, Advanced Placement and Dual Enrollment courses.

In 2005 I graduated number one in my high school class and didn’t even attend the damn school with its full scholarship. You can read all about that here.

But it didn’t matter to me. I’d decided that no matter which university I attended I was going to learn things on such a profound level that I would finally see the fruits of all those hours of studying.

It was one semester into college when I recognized the horror yet again. Watch. Practice. Test. Watch. Practice. Test. Historical facts. Theories. Ideologies. I was starting to get discouraged when it came to learning. Maybe I’m at the wrong school? Or maybe I chose the wrong major? Is this what was really needed for the workforce?

I quickly found out after graduating from college that it indeed was not. Despite having an undergraduate degree fresh off the printers, I lacked the “previous experience” that most entry-level jobs required. If it’s entry level, then how in the hell am I expected to have previous experience?! “Oh, but internships!” you may say. Internships were always portrayed to me as dessert but my undergraduate degree itself was the steak and potatoes.

Lies. All fucking lies.

Graduating during the economic crisis of 2009 didn’t help my situation either. I moved back home having to choose to work as either a correctional officer or a teacher if I wanted to earn a decent income. I chose the latter of course because I am not about that prison system life.

The plan was to teach for a year while I searched for other job opportunities. A year became three. And then I left the classroom to be an elementary mathematics coach. Rewarding but stressful. I returned back to the classroom but I kept searching for a better job.

And then I found that better job when I moved to Jacksonville. Or so I thought. I wrote about that experience as well.

Six months later I was back in the classroom. And I’m still here. It’s been 11 years.

Well, Shalanda maybe you were meant to be a teacher?

Once again, lies.

Ain’t nobody got time to be hopping from job to job when there is money to be made and health insurance that needs to be in place. Most aspects of my job I do enjoy. The vacation, consistent pay, retirement and health insurance. Working with children is much easier than working with adults. But I’m feel as though I’m failing my students. No. I know I’m failing them.

Quadratic functions won’t mean shit to my students when they’re 29 years old and trying to figure out how to improve their credit scores. Having read Shakespeare in high school won’t help them with reading their first apartment rental agreement. Physical education courses would have been more beneficial if they taught mediation and mindfulness techniques because let’s be honest…adulting is hard AF.

Do I need to go on?

Time spent in Kindergarten to Grade 12 should prepare students to not only perform basic life skills (cook, do laundry, budget a paycheck, etc.) but it should prepare them to enter the workforce without the need of a college degree.

Hear me out. Elementary schools should teach the basics. Middle school should be heavy on history and theory. But high school?! It should be about job preparation and placement. Every graduating senior should walk across the stage with not only a high school diploma but enough skills to enter a vocational occupation (car mechanic, electrician, bookkeeper, etc.) of their choosing or continue their studies at a college or university.

Oh and those expensive ass universities need to be more internship based and less of the same watch, practice and test bullshit!

But that’s where I am career wise. I love my job but I feel like I’m doing a disservice to my students by force feeding them the same crap that was given to me.

I pray that one day things will change for the better. But for now let me start writing these lesson plans on how to rationalize the denominator…