How to Have Alone Time with Your Clingy Toddler Around
I have to be honest. This blog post has been sitting in my draft folder for a few months. I’m not sure why it took me so long to finish this post because I use these tips all the time. Might I add that all but two of them can be implemented without the need of another adult.
Also, please take in consideration that these ideas were thought of before COVID-19 and social distancing became our (temporary) new norm. My goal is to help other solo parents out there who just need a little “me time” even with the kid(s) around.
Outside the Home
Go for a walk. Add the stroller for extra isolation. - You and the kid are able to get some fresh air, exercise and good ol’ Vitamin D from the sun. My daughter loves the outdoors as she loves to collect leaves, bird watch and hunt for bugs. For those 30 to 60 minutes I can take a break from being the center of attention and source of entertainment. If I plan to walk a bit more than usual or if I’m not in the mood to chase down a toddler, I put her in her stroller. Another reason I love using the stroller during walks is that the moving sensation usually puts her to sleep.
Go for a ride. - Once again, this option has the physical separation to give you, the parent, some personal space and the moving motion to lull your toddler to sleep. I recommend bringing a snack, your phone (and car charger) or a book with you. Once the kiddo is comfortably asleep in her car seat, I usually sit out in the driveway enjoying my snack while reading a magazine. Now my daughter can usually nap for two to three hours but there’s no way I’m sitting in my car for that length of time. So I make sure to take as much time for myself is needed before carefully carrying her up to our condo to finish out her nap.
Visit family or friends. - My daughter absolutely adores her aunts so I try to make it a habit to stop by my sisters’ places at least every other week for a quick visit. Usually after picking my daughter up from daycare in the evening or on the weekend before a trip to the grocery store are the best times. My aunt and uncle live about 45 minutes away with a nice backyard which is absolutely perfect for a day in her kiddie pool.
Attend church. - My church offers free childcare while you attend service, bible study or workshops. I cried the first time I dropped her off at the nursery but the computer generated name tags for both mommy and baby, the pager they assign to each parent and the security officer at the door all helped to ease my worries. After a few Sundays had passed, even Ava looked forward to playing with the other toddlers and nursery teachers.
Inside the home
Take a shower. - I take a lot of showers during the day. Lol! My daughter will usually go play on her own while I’m in the bathroom. Yes, I do keep the door open and the lights off but it’s more than just for the ambiance. With the door open, my daughter will pop her head in every five to ten minutes to “check on me” and without the noise of the bathroom vent, I can hear my daughter in the next room. Invest in a baby monitor if you feel hesitant. This option may not be for everyone but it works for us.
Spend time in your toddler’s room. - I’ve noticed that whenever I’m in my daughter’s room, she ignores me for the most part. Her television is usually on one of her favorite cartoons and she’s surrounded by her favorite toys. It’s when I’m in other rooms of our home that she’s fighting for my attention. Luckily for me, I’m petite enough to fit in her toddler bed (I’m 5’ 0”) and can relax while she plays independently.
Make naps a priority. - Before the coronavirus, naps were an automatic occurence on the weekend due her routine at daycare. But because we’ve been home since March, I’ve had to make maintaining her sleep schedule a priority. On those days that are too hot for a stroll around the neighborhood, we go for a ride to bring on nap time. If it’s rainy out or I’m just too lazy to drive I lay in bed with her until sleep wins.
Invite family or friends over. - This is similar to the suggestion above of visiting family and friends but now you don’t have to leave your home. Whenever my sisters stop by to see Ava, I take that time to either cook uninterrupted or I duck out to go to the grocery store without a small human in the shopping cart.
Allow television or a kid-friendly electronic to entertain your toddler. - Screen time my ass lol! Ava has the Amazon Fire tablet for kids and loves it. Does she stay on it for hours at a time? No. Do I have to pry it out of her hands? No. She usually prefers it when she’s eating in her high chair. Kiddie tablets from LeapFrog and VTech have also come in handy with getting my toddler to stop calling my name for the 100th time that day.
Put your headphones or earplugs in. - Back in February, Ava briefly went through a “screaming for no damn reason” phase. The more she noticed it would upset me, the more she would do it. That is until I decided to put my earbuds in and block out the noise. That worked for a day or two, but the combination of screeching and music was too much for someone as anxious as myself. So the next day I stopped by CVS and purchased a package of ear plugs. Before you start judging me, I only used the ear plugs whenever my daughter was in my eyesight. With her screaming now muted, I was completely unbothered while my daughter went through this typical toddler stage. Once she noticed her attempts to hit Mariah Carey notes didn’t phase me, she quickly got over the whole screaming thing lol!
Ask your toddler for a break. - Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. When I ask my daughter for some alone time she will usually go play in her room for at most 30 minutes. It may not sound like a long time, but it is just enough time for me to catch my breath and process my thoughts.