Five Things Motherhood Taught Me: Year 1
My body is beautiful and powerful.
Y’all. One of my biggest fears in life was being pregnant. Yes, the thought of pregnancy at one time scared me shitless. It seemed like a 40-week prison sentence where you had no control over your body and had no options of getting out until you had done your time. But once I saw those two pink lines, I knew that God was using me as a vessel to birth greatness and that I was physically equipped to do so.
I noticed my first increase in strength as I balanced working full-time as a teacher, purchasing my first home and going through a divorce with my daughter’s father. Then during labor and delivery, I went 11 hours with no pain medication before deciding to get an epidural. After four hours of pushing, I turned the epidural off so that I could feel myself push. I consider my delivery “semi-natural.”
For weeks after delivery I would admire my still changing body in the mirror as I’d witness it not only carry life but bring life into the world. It was during this time that I became more kind to my body in the way I spoke and thought of it, even what I put in it and on it.This new relationship with my body continues to this day as I make more of an effort to work out (almost) daily and listen to it when it’s tired and needs rest.
I am my biggest cheerleader.
My first Mother’s Day post delivery I distinctly remember being told Happy Mother’s Day by only one of my family members. It’s not that they didn’t care but more so that our plans for that day as a family didn’t go as plan. Yes, a text message would have been nice, but again, things came up and we all were super busy that day.
But I cannot deny that that hurt I felt instilled in me the notion that I cannot live my life waiting for others to celebrate me. I knew that my daughter was the first baby I’d even held, fed, bathed or looked after. I have to celebrate myself for learning how to care for something so tiny and precious all on my own.
Budgeting is necessary.
My daughter was around 5 months when I first began to feel ill. After several ER visits and doctor visits, I discovered that I needed to have both an oophorectomy and a cholecystectomy. The two surgeries took place about 6 weeks apart. Add those medical expenses on top of a mortgage, HOA fees, medical expenses from giving birth just six months prior, new baby gear, etc…I felt like I was drowning in an ocean of debt and my teacher's salary was a kiddie pool floatie.
Or so I thought. I began using a spreadsheet every pay period, placed my all my debt on payment plans and gave both myself and my daughter weekly allowances. A year later my $12,000 medical debt was down to $3700 and I was never late on any of my normal household bills.
Forgiveness is more for you and less for those who offended you.
The first year of my daughter’s life I was so angry y’all. I mean BIG MAD. I was upset with my ex-husband. I was upset with family. Hell, I was even mad at myself. My anger was evident physically through frequent panic attacks, headaches and extreme tiredness. I knew I couldn’t live like this so I prayed. And prayed. And prayed some more.
But then one day I decided to be still and listen to God. He put it on my heart that I was upset about what I expected others to do for me and I had to remember that no one owes me anything. Going back to item #2 of patting myself on the back, I learned to be mindful that everyone has their own lives and things they’re going through as well.Manifestation is real.
Stop dreaming and start setting goals. There is no idea too big for you to achieve. Vision boards. Scripting. Visualization. I’ve used all of these techniques to bring forth a healthy and enjoyable pregnancy, buying my first home, paying down debt, etc. Now don’t get me wrong, faith without work is dead. Work towards your dreams but believe whatever it is you’re asking for is already yours and watch the magic happen.
